What hurts the most

10th grade

As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called "best friend". I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine. But she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before and handed them to her. She said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

11th grade
The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked at me, said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Senior year
The day before prom she walked to my locker. My date is sick" she said; he's not going to go well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as "best friends". So we did. Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step. I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she isn't think of me like that, and I know it. Then she said "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Graduation Day
A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, "you're my best friend, thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

A Few Years Later
Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married now. I watched her say "I do" and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said "you came!". She said "thanks" and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Funeral
Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my "best friend". At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read: I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me! `I wish I did too...` I thought to my self, and I cried.

 

ps. Found this online 

dglkfbdslvj bsdlkfbv ;fc

Too lazy to write a propper name, hahah
I hate how people think they know me so well. Well they DON'T
They know nothing about me! Abseloutely nothing. Don't ever think you know me so well.
How could you think you know me so well when i don't even know who i am?!
Like i said, i change daily, don't expect me to be the same
Cause when you do, you'll be thinking "You used to shine so bright but i watched all of it fade" or "You're not the person i used to know" lol, sorry. I'm being amateur

It's not only about me, it's about everyone here. Some of them doesn't like to be judged, including me.
I know i've changed, but so what? No one cares except YOU. Yes YOU

p.s Kita semua pasti berubah, dari fisik maupun sifat. Mungkin ada juga yang gak nyadar. Tapi gak usah dihakimi gitu dong. "Eh dia jadi gitu ya" "Eh, si ini jadi lebih gitu,.," "IIh, kok dia berubah sih" 

Welcome To My Life

Something you need to know about me:

Aku orang nya pemalu. Di rumah nenek sendiri aja kalo mau minta sesuatu, pasti bisik2 dulu sama ibu. hahahaha

Aku orang nya bukan tipe orang yang bisa blak blakan curhat ke orang lain. Kalo emang enak ngomong sama orang itu, ya aku curhat.

Aku orang nya gak suka sama orang yang lebay, sok tau gitu deh.. Gak bermaksud menyinggung, sama sekali. SERIUS

Aku paling gak suka kalo disuruh sesuatu yang kalo aku emang aku bener2 gak niat. Kalo disuruh les yang aneh2, kalo disuruh ikut lomba yang ngeberatin, aku gak bakal mau. Akhirnya pasti ngundur diri gak jelas

Aku paling gak suka kalo barang2 ku (di rumah) di pegang sama orang.Megang doang sih boleh lah, tapi kalo misalnya ada yang nge beresin trus tataan nya berubah pasti marah2. Kan jadi susah nyarinya. apalagi kalo ditanya pura2 gak ngeberesin huuuh

 Aku orang nya cepet banget berubah, kalo baik ya baik, kalo lagi sebel ya judes, kalo lagi ada masalah semua orang ku jutekin. Jadi jangan berharap banyak dari aku.

Aku paling gak bisa berbaur, kalo ada saudara aja paling aku ngumpet di kamar nyetel lagu keras2. Gak bakal keluar. Paling keluar kalo ada sesuatu aja, tapi gak pernah ngobrol.

Aku juga bukan tipe orang yang nyapa duluan (di chat fb dsb) kalo gak ada keperluan. Aku nunggu disapa, kalo gak ada yang nyapa, yaudah sih, emang kenapa.

Menurut pengalamanku, aku  susah banget ngomong "NGGAK"

Aku orang nya ribet, mau ada apa harus direncanain dulu sampe bener2 mateng

Sebenernya aku pingin banget nulis lebih banyak lagi, pingin banget ngomong yang ada di pikiran ku sekarang (kedengeran nya lebay) tapi gak bisa. Nanti ada yang tersinggunglah, apalah, cape ngurusin gituan

Me,Myself and I

Wanna know more about me? All you have to do is take a look at my blog :)
I will post stuff i think it's a stuff i need to share about what i like or don't

paramore

shift nya eror lagi nih, tadi sih udah bisa.. yaah..

hahahaha. jadi tadi lagi dengerin lagu nya paramore yang emergency, diulang-ulang terus tuh, sampe bosen. akhirnya, ganti yang hallelujah. jadi ceritanya di sebelah komputer kan ada printer, nah, di atas nya printer ada beberapa kertas gitu... pas lagi  reff nya hallelujah

this time we're not giving up
let's make it last forever
screaming, hallelujah 

pas bagian yang di tebelin di atas ^^ <-- Eh bisa lagi shift nya, abal bgt sih
eror lagi kan, pas bagian yang di atas itu, dan setiap bagian itu pasti kertas-kertas nya jatuh semua deh.. walaupun gak ada angin.. hahaha, kebetulan doang atau emang ada sesuatu ya.. lebay deh

thats the way it is

shift nya lagi agak eror nih. kadang bisa, kadang engga. jadi huruf nya kecil semua deh, sebenernya gak enak juga ngeliat nya. udah deh, to the point

jadi aku cuma mau bilang aku paling gak suka terlibat sama yang nama nya geng. gimana sih tulisan nya, genk atau geng. tuh kan, gak bisa pake tanda tanya.. nyebelin bgt, jadi bisa, diapain sama ade ku ya..

jadi aku paling gak suka sama geng, keliatan nya kompak, padahal engga juga tuh. pasti kalo satu diem, yang disalahin satu nya lagi yang paling deket sama dia. dia kan gak terbukti bersalah. sebel deh. apa sih. geng, bikin nama, sok sok kompak, ngumpul bareng tapi nge bosenin, huuh, mending gak usah deh. satu punya rahasaia harus ngasih tau yang lain. ini gak berarti aku nyindir lho, gak ada maksud apa2. biar lebih jelas aja.

mungkin ada yang gak nyadar, mereka bikin geng. tapi yang jelas, kalo udah buat nama, sok sok kompak, trus ngumpul bareng, kemana mana bareng gitu deh.. yah, pasti taulah. poin pertama, aku gak suka sama yang namanya GENG

poin yang ke dua, aku agak gak suka sama orang yang lebay, gak bermaksud nyindir atau apa. yang lagi kusebelin itu orang yang lebay dlm persahabatan. ada yang bilang 'i love my bestfriend to death'.. don't you think it's over reacting.. someday, you're feelings can change, if you love or hate something too much, being over reacting, it will turn backwards. atau mungkin sebaliknya, mungkin aja perasaab itu tetep, tapi kalo suatu saat kita kehilangan dia atau mereka, pasti trauma berat. aku gak suka orang yang kayak gitu........

udah kali ya, gak ad usaha untuk nyindir, cuma biar lebih jelas, aku paling gak suka terlibat di geng sama sahabat yang gitu..

When You're Feeling Down

Life can only provide possibilities and opportunities. It's up to you to convert them into success

 If someone breaks your heart, just punch them in the face. Seriously. Just punch them in the face and go get some ice cream. lol

Love: giving another human the ability to completely destroy you; but trusting them not to

Never regret something if it once made you smile. :)

Love is like playing the piano. First you must learn to play by the rules, then you must forget the rules and play from your heart.

We are two pieces of the easiest damn puzzle on earth... anyone could figure out that we belong together.♥

Out of all your lies, "I love you" was my favorite

Did you know you're unlike any other? You'll always be my thunder. I don't ever wanna love another

Love is like a bubble, an illusion of pretty colors. But when the bubble pops, you're left with nothing but the memories.

 

Aww.

Pencil: You know, I'm really sorry.

Eraser: For what? You didn't do anything wrong.

Pencil: I'm sorry because you get hurt because of me. Whenever I make a mistake, you're always there to erase it. But as you make my mistakes vanish, you lose part of yourself. You get smaller and smaller every time.

Eraser: That's true, but I don't really mind. You see, I was made to do this. I was made to help you whenever you do something wrong. Even though, one of these days, I know I'll be gone and you have to replace me with a new one, I'm actually happy with my job. So please, stop worrying. I hate seeing you sad :)

Stay - Nick Jonas

Hmm, i did post Nick J - Stay a long time ago, but i accidentaly deleted it -.-
Anyways, i just have to post it again.. Here you go

It's hard to believe,
Where we are now.
Your hand in mine, babe,
Feels right somehow.
the night is so still
So don't make a sound.
Cause its almost perfect,
So, baby, promise you"ll never look down.

cuz we've had our past, i know
just leave that behind.
Cause none of it lasts,
All that we have is tonight.

Cause you're not the only one,
Who's ever felt this way.
Don't let the world cave in,
Just tell me that you'll stay.

Now that the pain is done,
theres No need to be afraid.
We don't have time to waste,
Just tell me that you'll stay.

Beautiful, one of a kind.
You're something special babe,
And you don't even realize
That your my hearts desire.



all i need and more
girl I know you're scared,
But I promise, babe,
I'm not who I was before.

Cause you're not the only one,
Who's ever felt this way.
Don't let the world cave in,
Just tell me that you'll stay.

Now that the pain is done,
No need to be afraid.
We don't have time to waste,
Just tell me that you'll stay.

Cause you're not the only one,
Who's ever felt this way.
Don't let the world cave in,
Just tell me that you'll stay.

Now that the pain is done,
no need to be afraid.
We don't have time to waste,
Just tell me that you'll stay.

Tell me, tell me you'll stay.
No, tell me.
Tell me that you'll stay.


p.s This is such an amazing song! You should check it out

Just a note

I hate it when people talk to me like they know everything about me. Because honestly, no one does. I don't even know who I really am. I change daily. I have a lot of mood swings. So nobody knows me better than myself.

I'm a nice person, from my point of view. Well I try to be. hahahaha. I'm a teenager. I'm gonna make a lot of mistakes in life, like I already did.

--
Don't expect me to be perfect.
Because I'm far away from it. I'm sorry if this disappoints you. I'm sorry if I'm not the person you want me to be, but I can suggest you, I won't stay this person for long. I'm gonna change a million times before I find out who I truly am. I only change for myself, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worst. I dont know, it depends on how you look at it. I won't change for you, I don't believe its right for someone to try to tell you, who to be, when it's your life, and your choices.

I trust to many. I believe in a lot of people. I expect everyone in my life to stay there forever.
Eventhough i know, they're not gonna stay.

Thats what I do. What I know is, you can only trust a few, 90% of the words that come out of people's mouth are lies. And the people that you hope would stay in your life, get up & walk away. But the ones that stay, are called your TRUE friends. :)

Everyone expects me to be, a good girl. Honestly, I'm both a good and a bad girl

Half of the time you see a smile on my face, it'll be fake. I use it, to hide the pain. I only show the pain to my best friends. Sometimes I don't, though.
Because if I suffer, they usually suffer with me. & Thats the last thing I want. Kinda mean, but hmm.. that's the way that it goes.

That just a random note i wrote. and this is what happened when im bored xD

Wihout You I'm Nothing

How Can I Spell SUCCESS
without U ?
or c_tie or _niq_e
i cant even have f_n
or any good l_ck
without u,
looks like i just cant s_rvive
without U<3

Hmm, Perang?

Gila.. tadi habis perang sama ade.. gak enak banget punya ade cowo, bandel lagi.. Bikin kesel, darah tinggi tau gak?! Mending klo punya ade yang lembut, baik, masih bisa diatur.. Sebenernya enak gak sih jadi anak tunggal? Enak gak sih jadi anak bungsu? Pingin gitu sekali-kali ngerasain, cuma kadang klo ade lagi dak ada di rumah 2 hari aja, rasanya sepi banget.. Sering banget ngerasain itu, tapi klo ada ade di rumah bawaannya pingin marah! Soalnya sumpah bandel banget!

Kayaknya, jadi anak tunggal itu gak begitu enak, emang sih kita di manjain, di kasih mungkin hampir apa aja. Tapi kan sepi, klo ortu lagi kerja, kita di rumah sama siapa? Paling pembantu, itupun klo punya, mungkin juga temen. Pasti orang yang jadi anak tunggal pingin banget ngerasain gimana punya ade/kakak.

Jadi anak bungsu juga gak enak, kita yang paling kecil, kadang suka lebih diperhatiin, tapi tetep aja. Klo saudara kita udah kuliah, trus misalnya kuliah di luar negeri, kita kan di rumah sendiri. Sepi pastinya.. Enak tuh jadi anak ke 2 atau yang di tengah2. Mereka ngerasain gimana punya kakak sama ade.

Habis nulis ini, baru nyadar, harusnya kita mensyukuri apa yang ada. Jadi harus belajar sabar menghadapi orang2 nyebelin kayak gitu, hahhaha.. lebay..

Tempat Curhat

Haha, mungkin sebagian dari ita gampang curhat ke orang, temen, ataupun keluarga. Ada juga yang nggak. Nah, aku sih bisa curhat ke orang lain, tapi biasa nya aku lebih suka nulis-nulis entah di diary ataupun blog.. hahah, rencanya blog ini pingin jadi tempat curhat, tapi gak ada privacy sama sekali.. jadi yaa.. paling buat ngomong2in sesuatu.

Aku bisa aja curhat ke temen, tapi kadang2 ada yang bocor. Lebih baik disimpen sendiri. Ada yang bilang kalo ada masalah harus curhat, disimpen sendiri bisa jadi stres. Tapi engga tuh, setiap orang kan beda -beda. Dan paling gak suka kalo tiba2 ada yang bocor.

Jadi yaa paling buat nulis2 biasa, cerita, atau ungkapan

Used to be bestfriends..

Jadi ada cerita tentang anak yang tadinya bersahabat tapi jadi nggak lagi.. Sayang banget.. Dulu, anak itu punya 2 sahabat. mereka bertiga akrab banget nih.. Main bareng, ngumpul bareng, belajar bareng, hang out bareng, dan lain-lain lah.. Akraab banget.. sampe-sampe curhat tentang apa aja.. mereka selalu jujur satu sama lain, dan emang bisa dibilang bestfriends. Tapi waktu terus berjalan, si anak tadi masuk sekolah baru.. oh, iya, tadinya 3 anak itu satu sekolah (sekelas). Si anak tadi ketemu banyak temen baru yang masih asing buat dia. Tapi lama-lama dia bisa bergaul.. Dia belum punya sahabat di sekolah barunya, tapi dia udah punya banyak temen deket, yang memang akrab banget. dia sama temen-temen nya sering hangout bareng, bercanda, dll..

Suatu hari, 2 sahabat nya yang dulu nelpon.. Mereka ngajakin si anak itu untuk ketemuan, kan udah lama ya, maklum aja sih.. kangen.. Tapi si anak tadi bingung mau jawab apa.. Soalnya semenjak dia masuk ke sekolah baru, dia dapet temen-temen yang lebih asik, pengertian dan enak di ajak ngomong.. Klo dia bilang iya, dia nanti ke siksa (lebay amat) tapi kalau dia bilang engga, gak enak sama sahabat lama nya.

Dia ngerasa sahabat lama nya itu nge-bosenin dan nyebelin, dia lebih suka temen-temen baru nya yang lebih asik.. kedua sahabatnya belum tau tentang itu, mereka masih menganggap si anak tadi sebagai sahabat mereka sampe kapan pun.. Anak tadi bingung, sebenernya siapa sih sahabat nya.. Dulu dia pernah ngakuin kalo dia bersahabat dengan 2 teman sekelas nya. Tapi sekarang kan udah beda, dia ada di lingkungan lain, dia udah ketemu temen baru yang menurut dia lebih asik. Kira2 siapa ya sahabat nya? Kalau menurut aku sendiri sih, mungkin temen baru nya. Dia lebih ngerasa nyaman sama mereka. Masalah jujur satu sama lain kan bisa diatur..

Hey guys :)

Hey guys, thanks for visiting my blog, i really appreciate it. Hope you like it :)